guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
