i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
