I'm passing your future prison.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
