Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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