she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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