If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
