Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
