his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
