we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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