So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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