Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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