Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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