We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This baby is an asshole
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
