I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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