i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
FUCK WHALES
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
