I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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