it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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