what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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