Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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