Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
