I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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