Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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