grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How does it feel to date your dad?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard