Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
