i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
