So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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