I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize