Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My liver just broke up with me...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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