forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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