The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?