every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.