oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!