I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
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