The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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