his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize