You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
