would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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