why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
