and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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