Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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