it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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