my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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