pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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