i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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