that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
