CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
