did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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