drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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