Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
