i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
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did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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