My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i out mim tonsoeep
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