sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
