Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Houston, we have a blender
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
