you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize