i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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