she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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