I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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