I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
