I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
