I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
