you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
