Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
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