First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
