lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
