You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
