Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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