Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
