you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
