You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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