"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
