the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You're like the curious george of whores
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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