She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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